How to Kill a Nindroid in One Easy Step
by Indythewolf
Summary: "Let's see..." he smiled, a malicious sort of glee shimmering in his eyes, "If it's possible to freeze a master of ice." Or, Zane is kidnapped and locked in a freezer, and finds that ice powers really aren't all that useful when you're freezing to death. Luckily for him, our favorite fire boy helps him out.


He thought it would help to convince himself that he hadn't seen this coming. None of the others had either.

It didn't help.

In fact, maybe if he had seen this coming even a little bit, he wouldn't be where he was right now - hands tied tightly behind his back with a steel band, sitting uncomfortably in a dark closet, waiting for his captor to return and unlock the door.

He must have had his memory drive damaged in the scuffle, or at least been hit in the head, because his skull was pounding and he was having trouble piecing together how he'd gotten into this situation in the first place.

It was supposed to be a simple mission - Helix, a local Serpentine, one of the few who remained in Ninjago City after the Great Devourer's defeat, had recently applied to open up a new business. Some bakery or something, seemingly completely harmless. Zane had only been asked to look into it because there was nothing else to do, and the ninja were starting to get a little stir crazy.

It had been a particularly dull week, no activity from Garmadon, and on top of that Lloyd was sick, so training was pretty much on hold. By the fourth day of what Sensei Wu called 'rest and recuperation', Kai had been so bored he set fire to the training grounds, and with it, half the kitchen and Sensei Wu's precious tea supply.

The next day, they'd all been given small solo missions. Busy work, but maybe that was what they needed to get back into the swing of things.

Zane could taste something metallic and bitter in his mouth. He wished he hadn't been so quick to give up his vacation time.

His memory beyond taking the mission grew fuzzy, but he had a vague image of Helix coming to the door, gray scales covered by a pink, frilly-looking apron. The Fangpyre had smiled at him, and offered him a pastry, everything had seemed just fine. After that, there was a lull in Zane's head. He couldn't remember being knocked out, but something must have happened. He banged his head back against the wall in frustration, cringing when the metal made a loud clanging sound against the plaster.

_Why can't I remember?_ He asked himself, a twinge of panic starting to settle into his chest. He forced himself to calm down, mentally calculating how to slow his breathing to the right pace. _It's ok Zane_, he told himself, _just think_.

Could Garmadon be behind this? After Lloyd fell ill last week, the ninja had assumed the dark lord must have gotten word somehow, because all attacks stopped on his part. He may have still been conducting evil activity, but not enough to put himself on the ninja's radar. It was as if he was taking it easy on them since his son was sick, which made sense in a fatherly way but not at all in a dark, conquering warlord kind of way.

Confusing Garmadon family dynamics aside, it seemed Zane wouldn't be left wondering for long. The sounds of brisk footsteps came from behind the door, and Zane braced himself, trying to maneuver himself into a half-decent attack position in the cramped space. He was still floundering around when the door clicked unlocked and swung open, revealing Helix, still clad in that silly apron, and another Serpentine, a Hpynobrai.

Zane tried to push off the wall with his knee, so that he could gain some leverage and try and use spinjitsu, but a sharp pain shot through his leg and he stumbled, falling face-first into the wall with an 'oof'.

Helix smiled, fangs exposed. "See, Hazard, I told you. The ninja aren't so brilliant once you've got the venom into their system."

Suddenly everything started to take shape. Zane was filled with a white hot anger, but he wasn't able to act on it because his muscles were feeling weaker by the minute. His already shaky legs gave out, and he fell sloppily onto his knees, the metal scraping against the tile floor. "Venom?" He hissed, "You poisoned me!"

Helix raised a scaly eyebrow, "Indeed I did, ninja. You really are a sharp one, aren't you?"

He nudged his partner's arm and sneered, but Hazard's expression remained somber. He eyed Zane wearily. "What are you going to do with him? The effects of the venom won't last forever. And sooner or later the other ninja will come for him. Then you'll really be in trouble," he sighed, "Did you even think this through at all?"

Helix scowled, "Have a little faith in me. This one will be dead long before the others even know he's missing," without warning, he reached forward and grabbed the back of Zane's shirt, pulling him up by the collar. Zane coughed in surprise, scrambling to make his sluggish limbs move fast enough to keep up. The Fangpyre dragged him into the hallway, and pushed him roughly along. The nindroid was surprised to see that they were still in the bakery, though it seemed they were in some kind of underground level. If Zane strained his neck, he could see customers through the air vents over head, milling about their day as usual and pondering what treats to buy from a snake-monster/potential murderer.

If he'd been feeling only a little stronger, Zane would've called to them for help. But as it was now, he didn't think he had the strength to fight off one Serpentine, let alone two, and he didn't want to get any innocent civilians involved when he couldn't protect them.

_The others will be here_, he reassured himself wearily, _they'll help you, you just have to give them time._

They'd only been walking for a few minutes when Hazard voiced Zane's concerns for him: "Where exactly are we taking him, Helix?"

The Fangpyre smiled, giving Zane another rough nudge forward. "You'll see, my friend. He's going to help me try out a little...experiment."

In another few feet, they'd come to a dead end. What looked like a locked vault sat in from of him, and Zane swallowed, trying not to let his imagination run away from him in terms of what might be inside. Helix pressed his hand against some sort of electronic pad on he wall, then yanked and pushed until the heavy door was opened. Zane blinked in surprise. No instruments of torture, no massive evil weapon, no vile monster waiting to destroy him - it was simply a meat freezer.

A few pounds of raw meat hung from the ceiling, and a few boxes of what looked like mochi ice cream were piled in the back corner. Before Zane even had a chance to ask what this was all about, he was once again shoved roughly forward.

Stumbling, he stepped into the frigid air, feet sliding a bit before finding purchase on the ice-slicked metal floor.

He turned to face his captors, tilting his head to indicate his confusion. "I do not understand. What is it you want from me?"

Hazard looked at his partner, looking as befuddled as Zane felt. Helix smiled. "I wanted you to solve a curiosity of mine," Without warning, he swung his leg forward and kicked Zane in the chest, sending him sprawling back even farther into the freezer, landing heavily on his bound arms. "Let's see..." Helix grinned, a malicious sort of glee shimmering in his eyes, "If it's possible to freeze a master of ice."

With that, he pushed the vault door shut. Zane scrambled to his feet, but by the time he made it back the door was already bolted and electronically locked into place. He let out a heavy breath, shivering and feeling his earlier panic come back with renewed fervor.

He banged his foot against the door, hissing when the frosty metal came into contact with his own metal skin. "Oh man," he whispered to himself, feeling his internal heating systems kick on, "I've got to get out of here."

"Sorry to bother you, sir, but are you aware that you need a specific kind of permit to sell these weapons on these premises?"

The salesman gave Kai an annoyed look, before pulling a thin scrap of paper out of his pocket and shoving it into the ninja's chest. Kai hissed, his own patience rapidly wearing thin.

He held the paper up in the man's face and pointed to it. "No. You see, this is a silver permit. What you need is a golden permit."

The man just stared at him for another moment before snatching the permit back out of his hands and going back to where he was working on nailing a sign to the front of his stand. "Weapons of War and Strategy", it read.

Kai took a deep breath, "Sir, please-"

"Who are you, the permit police?"

Kai grunted, "No, sir, but I do live, well, right over there in that apartment. And, as a citizen of Ninjago I hold the right to-"

"Kai! Kai! Hey, Kai!"

For a moment, Kai was annoyed with the interruption, but then he resigned himself to the fact that this man wasn't listening anyway, and turned to face his teammates.

Cole and Jay were jogging towards him, the blue ninja waving his arms rapidly. "Kai! There you are! Have you seen Zane?! He didn't come to the rendezvous point!"

Kai put his hands on Jay's shoulders, "Stop yelling, I'm right here. And no, I haven't seen Zane."

Cole shrugged, taking a bite out of some disgusting looking energy bar he'd brought along. "Yeah, he probably got held up. We waited for both of you at the meeting place, but came looking when you didn't show."

Kai shot another scalding look at the salesman, who in turn completely ignored him. He huffed, "Yeah, well, hopefully he's having better luck than me. I mean seriously, permit duty, what do I lol like a..uh-"

"Permit police?"

"Shut up, Jay! I'm done with this, let's just go find Zane and get lunch or something. What was his job again?"

Cole took another bite of his bar and turned and started walking in the other direction. Kai and Jay followed. "I don't know exactly. Something with some new Serpentine businesses opening up downtown. We can just head to the main square and look for him there."

"Sounds good to me. The sooner we find him, the sooner we can go home."

Zane was freezing.

For a while, he'd sort of been hoping that Helix's doubts were substantial - that because he was master of ice, he'd be able to withstand freezing temperatures with no problem.

It'd been five hours since Helix and his partner had left. Twenty minutes since Zane's backup heat generator had stuttered and died, his body automatically conserving all remaining energy for the most primary life functions.

If it weren't for the venom coursing through his system, his energy reserves would've lasted longer. He may even have been able to make it out of the freezer and defeat the Serpentine by now, but as it was, the poison was only taking more of a toll on him. He slumped back against the wall where he was huddled in the corner, wishing for the millionth time that his hands weren't bound so that he could at least try and rub some heat back into his arms. He could feel frost beginning to form on his fingers, the combination of the frigid air and hindered circulation making the metal freeze quicker. Zane shuddered once, but over the past hour, his shivering had all but ceased, his body simply lacking the energy to keep up any kind of prolonged movement.

His eyelids were beginning to feel heavy, and he let them droop down, wishing he could just fall unconscious. Maybe in his head he would be warm.

_Ice_, he tried to whisper it out loud to himself, but his throat was so dry no sound came out. _Of all the elements I had to get _ice_? Could have really used some of Kai's fire right now._

He swallowed, a sudden feeling of despair ensnaring him. He could feel his core processor beginning to struggle as the venom mixed with his circulatory fluids. He knew he didn't have much time, there was something inside him that told him this was it. Even if the others did find him, it'd likely be too late.

Were they even looking for him? After all, he wasn't like them. They said he was part of the team, but was he really? He'd always been a little different - never got the jokes, never knew when to laugh or cry or smile with them.

Did they even like him? When they found out he was missing, would they even look?

_It's not worth it_, he told himself, _I'm just a chunk of metal. They'd be better off without me anyways._

Deep down, Zane knew he was being unfair, was letting the venom and the cold and the darkness of the freezer get to him. But he didn't have enough energy to fight his own dark thoughts. He let his eyes slide closed and tried to ignore the way they were watering under their lids.

He decided he didn't really care if the others liked him or not. He loved them; he wanted to see them again before the end.

He shuttered again and something in his chest made a keeling sound. It suddenly became harder to breath, and Zane felt himself start to slip under. _I'm sorry_, he thought, to no one in particular.

The world faded out around him.

"...ane? Zane! Guys, I found him!"

Zane woke slowly, as if through a thick fog. He couldn't feel much of his limbs, he was so cold, but there was a dull warmth remaining in his chest. And with a disconnected feeling of relief, he realized that meant he was still alive.

Suddenly there were hands on his chest, and he stuttered out an involuntary groan as he was jostled around.

"Zane, you with me, buddy?" There was a flash of heat near his wrists, and the bonds on his arms snapped.

The momentary feeling of heat brought with it another level of awareness, and Zane realized his eyes were still closed. With much more effort than usual, he opened his eyes and looked around.

A bundle of red clouded most of his vision, and after blinking a few times, he realized it was Kai, looking down at him, concern shinning strongly in his brown eyes.

"K-Kk...K-K-"

Kai's hand was warm against his chest, steadying. It was only now Zane realized how unsteady he felt.

Kai's mouth quirked into a worried smile, "H-hey! Don't talk Zane, just take it easy."

He pulled his hand back for only a moment, and Zane already mourned the loss of heat. "Jesus, you're freezing!"

Kai held his hand out, as if waiting for something, then after a moment nodded to himself and slung an arm behind Zane's shoulders, helping him sit up. "Ok, come on. Let's get you out of here."

He stood up quickly, pulling Zane with him. And as much as the nindroid agreed that they should get out of the freezer as soon as possible, he found his legs would not cooperate. The second he was on his feet, he fell back down, a sharp pain spreading through his limbs.

He let out a stifled groan, and Kai was on his knees beside him in an instant. He squeezed the back of Zane's neck comfortingly, eyes narrowed in concern.

Now that the door was open, Zane found his earlier dissociation gone, and replaced with a flood of emotion. He was finally able to get out of here, but he wasn't able to walk to the door.

He raised a shaky hand to bang against the floor in frustration. His shivering had returned with a vengeance now that his body had been exposed to more external heat.

With a pang of surprise, he realized he was crying.

Kai looked down-right scared; if Zane hadn't of been so weirdly wired at the moment, he might've savored this moment as a contrast to the red ninja's usual arrogance.

But right now he was sort of delirious. And Kai was not the only one out of his element with this situation.

Too tired to think of anything but heat, Zane dropped his head against Kai's shoulder, seeking warmth. The fire ninja obliged, raising his own body temperature and wrapping his arms tentatively around his friend's shoulders.

When he received no resistance, Kai pulled Zane into a fierce bear hug, pressing him into his chest. "It's okay, bud. I gotcha. The others can help us get out of here once they show up. You know Cole and his super strength and all that. We're good."

It took all the energy Zane had left to nod, his forehead pressed against Kai's collarbone. If he'd been less out of it, he might've been embarrassed by this situation, especially by the fact that both Cole and Jay were about to come down and witness him as a weak, shaking mess of a ninja. But, as it turned out, by the time they reached the basement and the entrance to the freezer, he was too far gone to even notice.

When Zane woke again, it was to the blissful feeling of being snuggled up in his own bed, under warm blankets.

He was still shivering, his body trying to regenerate the heat it had lost, but he felt far more energetic. The lingering grip of the cold was fading into a more bearable chill, and it seemed the effects of the venom had all but left his system. His brain felt much clearer.

The right side of his body was much warmer than the left, as if in proximity to a heater, and, curious, Zane turned to investigate.

"Kai!"

Startled, Kai sat up on his elbows from where he'd been laying on top of the covers to Zane's right, his hair messy and eyes blurry with sleep.

"Zane, you're awake!" He grinned, but it faded quickly, a slightly flustered scowl replacing it. "Look, don't think I like, want to be cuddling with you or anything, cause I don't! I mean, I wasn't! I mean-"

Zane sat up himself, resting against the headboard. "I do not understand."

Kai sighed and ran a hand through his hair, sending brown spikes shooting up in different directions. "We all agreed that someone should stay with you. You know, just to make sure you're okay and all that. I took the first shift."

"I meant I do not understand why I'm here. How did I get here? I was trapped. I did not believe I'd escape."

Kai's sheepish smile vanished, replaced with a very dark frown.

"We found you in the freezer, you don't remember?"

Zane ran a hand through his own platinum locks, searching his brain for any recent memories other than those or strange snakes in pink aprons or the suffocating cold. Or the fear that he was dying. Alone.

He came up short. "I suppose not. I was sure I would be stuck in the freezer long enough for my systems to shut down. I was sure I would...die. How did you find me?"

Kai gave him a slightly confused, and uncomfortable look. "We came looking for you when you didn't meet us at the noodle shoppe like we said. When we saw the two Serpentine together, we knew something was off. When we beat the Hypnobrai in battle he backed down pretty quickly and told us where you were."

"I see," Zane thought for a moment, "Thank you."

Kai shifted uncomfortably on the bed, "Zane, of course we found you. We're a team, that's just the way it is. We'll always find you. You know that, don't you?"

Zane was getting sleepy again, the struggle of trying to conserve energy in the freezer and replenish his excess reserves now was really taking it out of him. He found himself sliding down the headboard until he was back in bed, the covers rustling with his breath. "Mmmhmm."

Kai sighed affectionately, "Alright. Good."

He went to stand up, but Zane rolled over towards him, an unspoken question in half-lidded blue eyes.

Kai sighed again and laid down, tossed an arm casually across the nindroid's chest, and called on his powers just slightly enough to raise his body temperature. "Fine, fine. I'll be your personal heater for a little while longer. But so help me, if you try and spin this to the others, I will roast you so bad you're going to _want_ to be in a freezer. Got it?"

Zane didn't reply, his breath even with sleep, one hand wrapped loosely around Kai's wrist.

The fire ninja sighed and leaned back, trying and failing to stifle a smile.


End file.
